Aoife Codyre reports: “Brighton 1s were raring to go this week and everyone was keen to get some points on the board. The first half saw a close battle between the two sides with chances missed on both ends.

The trusty Jess Harris stepped in for Amanda Billington, who is currently representing England in the women's Masters World Cup in New Zealand. Jess was at the ready for the series of shots and second phases she was tested with and held strong 0-0 at half time.

Into the second half and neither side were ready to relinquish the game. After some beautiful passages of play, the hard work for Brighton was starting to pay off with a short corner for the blues. Bara stepped up as usual and sent a bullet through the D which was expertly buried in the back of the goal by Hannah S. Guildford didn't know what had hit them.

Brighton maintained composure with the play moving from one end of the pitch to the other. The second half saw Guildford capitalise on their time in the D with some short corners that tested our defence. The home team found their way onto the scoresheet with a decent drag flick that found its way to the back of the net during a short corner.

After a few feisty stick tackles from both teams, Elodie saw herself to the halfway line with a green card in the latter half of the game. Both teams continued to battle for the win but the game ended in a stalemate at 1-1.

Despite the cheer squad changing their allegiance at points, we were very greatful for the support and stowaway dogs that came all the way to Surrey to counter a loud sideline support from the home team.

MoM: a four-way tie between Hannah H, Bills, Aoife and Abby with the whole team putting in a mahoosive shift.

DoD: Aoife for wearing the wrong kit and for attempting to moonlight as Bob the Builder.”

BHHC 3s 1
Mid Sussex 1s 1

Alex Smart reports: "Facing a fellow undefeated team, there wasn’t a Casual Carol in sight as the 3s welcomed Mid Sussex to Blatch. One of the easiest things about playing a home game (apart from the Waitrose sushi counter conveniently being on the way) is not having to think about which kit you’re wearing, yet Emily was baffled about why her navy socks weren’t the same colour as everyone else’s red socks. Jo managed to find her way to the game despite realising that she has no idea how Pitchero works.

With various player transfers and Cilla Black at a wedding, some negotiation was done to determine who would run one for penalty corners. Gemma’s argument against putting herself forward was that she wouldn’t be able to run back in time. From the top of the D back into the D?

With Luka Modric on loan to the 2s, Steph stepped into goal and prepared herself for a busy 70 minutes. She kept us in the game with some great clearances and nearly killed one of the opposition off with a deflected ball to the eye. Despite showing genuine concern for the injured player, she made the same move three minutes later and nearly took Kath’s head off.

A strong defensive line up of Lizzy, Gemma, Emily and Aisha were on hand for some line saves and crucial interceptions to support Steph. Unfortunately a few dodgy tackles and feet in the D lead to a flurry of penalty corners. Steph made a great first phase save from a drag flick but unfortunately the second shot found its way past her to put Mid Sussex in the lead.

Georgie, Ellen and Phoebe Waller-Bridge did a great job disrupting Mid Sussex’s flow in midfield with great feeding out to Sorrel, Elise and Izzy K in midfield. Sorrel’s skills and speed were on full display again this week and she even won some balls back in our defending 25. Clearly she’s seen Jedward fall back into the opposite D a few times. Izzy “Emma Raducanu” Liddiard was keen to try any tactic to keep possession of the ball, including some keepy uppies in the middle of the pitch that were sadly deemed too fancy to be allowed.

Davina Diaz and Jedward made great leading runs to get the ball up the right end of the pitch but we found it hard to get that all important finish in the D. Jedward took matters into her own hands with a textbook straight strike on a penalty corner with such pace, it hit all three backboards.

We couldn’t quite claim the victory but a draw felt fair against a very decent side. Thanks to Diva’s Dad for spectating, who waited patiently for her to come onto the pitch despite her actually being away at a wedding.

Onto Juliet’s for a classic 3s get together of pizza and beer pong. Hostess with the mostess pulled it out of the bag with homemade birthday rocky road and a perky Madonna rack made out of coned birthday hats. If we don’t win the league and get picked up for international hockey duties, we now have a strong back up plan of posting pictures of our feet on Only Fans.

It turns out we have a new beer pong champion in the form of Aisha, despite a very strict Ange doing her best to claim that elbows were over the line. It seems that once you hit your 40s, you really suck at beer pong. Amanda was very good at waving her hands around the cups like a witch over a cauldron causing distraction, but struggled to pot any. Ange was struggling until Luka Modric presented her assets - intended as a distraction but turned out to be just the excitement Ange was looking for. And having got nothing on target all night, the pressure of one cup vs one cup was too much for me and I scored the winning goal. Or cup. This game is too young for me. Much like boules at Shelley’s 50th, sometimes my aim just gets better after a few drinks. Maybe a few ciders before next week’s late game and I’ll be getting on the scoresheet.

If anyone is getting married this year, I highly recommend Ange for a good speech. An emotional bunch set off for Temple Bar for birthday shots where everyone booty called their wives to come and pick them up off the floor. The good news is that Amanda was escorted out by Ange rather than the bouncers this time.

PoM: Votes for Steph, Elise, Jo, Juliet, Lizzy, Emily, Georgie but the winner is… silky skills Sorrel!

DoD: Gemma for not backing herself to run from the top of the D back into the D. Runner up Emily for thinking that navy socks were part of our home kit."

Other results

Reigate Priory 1s 5 BHHC 2s 0
Burgess Hill 1s 2 BHHC 4s
BHHC 5s 6 Lewes 4s 3
South Downs 2s 0 BHHC 7s 2