Daniela Bayman reports: "The stakes couldn’t have been higher as Brighton journeyed to Folkestone for a relegation showdown that had all the tension of a Saturday shootout. With survival on the line, both teams turned up ready to scrap, though some arrived more prepared than others - Meg, for instance, sporting the wrong skirt, and Sean, not turning up at all.

First half: Folkestone draw first blood

The match kicked off with both sides scrapping for possession like seagulls over a portion of chips. Brighton showed glimpses of promise but Folkestone struck first, capitalising on a moment of defensive confusion to take the lead before half-time. It was 1-0 at the break, and tensions were higher than a goalie’s heart rate during a penalty flick.

Second half: the comeback

Brighton came out swinging in the second half, determined to turn the tide. Meg, seemingly motivated by a desire to redeem her outfit choice, put in a solid shift, while Dani, despite being late (again), made her presence felt. Orla’s sassy chat kept spirits high, and Bara’s touchline scouting mission (disguised as “manning CR”) was in full swing.

Then, the moment came. Brighton won a short corner, and with the precision of a Bake Off contestant measuring flour, Megan sent a rocket towards goal. Just as the ball was about to cross the line, Dani stole Meg’s goal with a contentious deflection.

Off-pitch shenanigans

Beyond the on-field heroics, the sidelines had their own share of drama. Bara’s alleged flirting with the umpires raised some eyebrows, while Elodie sparked a minor culinary crisis by confidently misidentifying a courgette as a zucchini. Meanwhile, Abby’s sunglasses became an unexpected warm-up talking point, proving that fashion choices were under just as much scrutiny as the scoreline.

Final whistle: a point gained, a battle ongoing

The match ended 1-1, a hard-earned point that could prove crucial in the fight for survival. With the team now safe from relegation (just), celebrations were in order - though one suspects the post-match debrief involved as much chat about off-field antics as the game itself.

Until next time, up the Brighton!"

South Saxons 1s 2
BHHC 3s 1

Alex Smart reports: "Pre-match and post-match were eventful, sandwiching a disappointing result against top of the league, South Saxons. It was a long journey to Bexhill, starting with laps of Preston Park to find Beth, who’d been woken up early with pigeons hatching in her roof, and Ellen getting a flat tyre after cycling to Hove to buy me some fine wine. It turns out that the goals for the pitch had a journey of their own, escorted one at a time on a trailer from Horntye.

The pitch was rather beach-like and the amount of sand made it difficult to carry the ball. At one stage the ball was so covered in sand, the umpires had to bring a new one in, much like a ball change at Wimbledon.

The opposition’s strategy to create a fortress in the D worked a treat and despite some strong attacking play and great leading runs from Jo and Shelley, we weren’t given the time or space to get anything convincing towards the goal. Izzy, Izzy and Beth worked hard in midfield to win the ball but with the opposition always close by, we didn’t have much time to put power behind the ball and find a clean pass.

Georgie, Ellen and Sumi supported the defence to channel speedy players onto flat sticks with Aisha, Emily and Amanda on hand to win the ball at right and left back. Gemma was a rock in the middle and consistently won the ball with Diva to clear up the pitch - sometimes overhead, sometimes through the sandpit.

The opposition capitalised on a quick counter attack in midfield and an overload to put the ball in the goal to give them the lead. It was such a nice goal, even the umpire cheered. Awkward. Just as we won the ball in midfield and powered towards the goal, an opposition player fell over an invisible sand castle and despite not being in the direction of play, time was stopped. It turned out to be a legitimate injury and we managed to get another chance shortly after with a pass to Sumi at the top of the D, into Shelley, always ready in front of goal to put the ball across the line.

Both teams had some good chances to score in the second half with strong clearances from Emily in our D, and a tight defensive unit at the other end. Our press in the second half was impossible to break through but despite winning the ball several times, we still couldn’t quite get it over the line.

Once again, the invisible sandcastle reared up as we powered towards the goal with the ball. And once again, time was stopped. When it happened a third time (more legit and on the sideline) the coaches got a tad agitated. While it wasn’t our best performance, South Saxons put in a good shift and we’re sure they’ll enjoy the day trips of Division One next season. Don’t tell Georgie we lost, she thought it was a draw.

It felt a bit like being on tour with the long journey, sunshine and beach hockey. And all tours need a good night out. After drinks and food on the seafront, Diva was on a mission to negotiate a good deal on a round of shots, threatening to take our custom elsewhere, which she did. She was then on a mission to tell the DJ what to play, which was equally unsuccessful. After Sumi decided that calling me a cougar was a compliment, it was time for us to depart, with a flurry of abuse from Diva for going home too early (it was definitely past midnight)."

Other results

Horsham 3s 0 BHHC 2s 2
BHHC 4s 2 Worthing 1s 3
Lewes 3s 3 BHHC 5s 2
BHHC 6s 0 South Downs 1s 2
Burgess Hill 4s 3 BHHC 8s 1